27th December 2007

Ahh okay so within the past few hours I watched The Pursuit Of Happyness. Ohh it hurt.

Anyway Christmas Eve was a few days ago. Haha. It was interesting! I've said it for ages but this doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Had a fake Christmas with the housemates which WAS beautiful until one arsehole got all self-centred, paranoid and hypocritical on myself specifically and made a big hoo-ha out of nothing. I've still not decided how I'm going to come out of this.. how I'll be with the moron when we get back to the house. Anyway since then the Christmas spirit has been low.. low low low. Christmas Eve started with a huge lie in like normal. I get up and find my Dad's gone to the supermarket, I watch a lot of TV, and get a call. My Dad's been in another crash. 2nd in 4 months. Some honky-tonk man from Kansas or something couldn't press the brakes in time for the red stop light. Luckily no one was hurt, no car was damaged, and no one was too stressed.. but come on! The exact same thing happened months ago to my Dad, except it was a drunk woman and she actually did ruin his car..

Then he comes home to me and my Mum (well more my Mum) panicking because the cooker was on fire. Haha. The element (the metal bit that's a weird shape and heats up) had sparked, and flared up.. Mum opened the door to cool it down, but I was sure the more she did that the more it would blow up.. oxygen, flames? I know what I mean. So we waited (Mum panicking, me turning the power off to the kitchen and resuming my place watching a new episode of Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency) and Dad opens the oven door.

As soon as he opened the door it smashed to the floor. Hahaha.. Glass went everywhere, my Mum was fuming, excuse the pun. She was only making Yorkshire puddings for one of my Dad's friends at Church, and she kept reiterating that.. she wasn't even cooking for herself. So no door, no element, and the fire's still sitting there smiling smugly. Me and Dad proceeded to drive to 3 or 4 B&Q style stores to talk to someone about a) fixing the element, and b) cooking with the front of the oven in pieces.

We get to the 3rd store, who then directs us to Keller Appliances, only 5 minutes from our house.. when we get there we were 30 minutes too late. Christmas eve they shut early, and dammit we have no oven. Haha I wasn't that bothered about it, kinda obvious huh.

So me and Dad go to Church Christmas Eve sans Mama, and Pastor Thomas says "Gee I know everyone's having a rough time this Christmas, even my bassist told me today he got driven into when he stopped at traffic lights.." to which me and Dad laughed.. guess we looked horrible but come on.. Dad sang in the "choir".. he sang with a man (who Mum was going to make the Yorkshire Puddings for) and a lady who was about 50 or 60. Haha it was all so makeshift and pleasant. Then we go from church to the liquor store to get my Mum a bottle of Brandy. (I wasn't allowed in because I'm under 21.. ugh). But Church to alcohol, now THIS is America.

So Christmas Day we watch more tv, my Mum gives me a set of pjs, a gift card and a few cat related things, and gives my Dad a box of wine gums and a special neck pillow thing.. and that was Christmas. Haha. No dinner, we had pasta.. No snacks, no gifts really. We're skint, we're bored, and we're trying to think "should we want more?" Granted Jamie wasn't with us.. so it wasn't like any other christmas that I've ever had.. but it was just weird. We didn't really feel Christmassy..

So yeah back to The Pursuit Of Happyness.. watching it kinda hurt. We felt every broke moment. No money to get the bus, no money to pay rent, I can't remember the rest. Haha with a memory like mine making a point is difficult. But I know we're not THAT poor, but we're certainly not doing okay anymore. I know individually I'm a financial mess. I have 2 backups, my grandparents and my God Mother. I resist asking them for money because I visualise myself having money one day, and driving (ha probably not) in a nice car, living in a house or flat all of my own without worrying where I'm going to live the next year.. But I know that even if my parents are working things out for themselves I'll have 2 people to rely on. Grudgingly. Haha. But right now I haven't checked my account in a few weeks, I have no money going in until Jan 15th I think. I have rent going out, bills going out, the rest of the Chicago trip going out, ughhh, oh dentist.. I need a dentist. It's poop. But it's my Poop! Haha. Oh internship too.

Some people have rent paid for them which I will just be jealous of, some people have driving lessons paid for which I will just be jealous of, some people have extra loan and grants which I will just be happy for. These people are no better than me.. they're just luckier. I won't ask for money from my g'rents or god mother to be like them. I kinda like being stuck. The sacrifice means I'm different. Even on the plane on the way here I had less than $10 left and I gave $5 to Unicef because I could. I just test myself I think.

Anyway so yeah rubbish Christmas, if you want to call it that.. but I don't care! Just give me another year and I might get in the Christmas mood! Haha.